Orphaned nights

I ran across a memory tonight,

...and I stayed too long.

I read the words, 

and heard the song,

and I remembered.

 Emotions I have so carefully forgotten,

every line so full of meaning;

my bittersweet aptitude for language

equal in power only to...

to every way you're no longer here.

I think,

in some special place,

in which we cradle childhood hope,

I always thought Id come back.

Retrace the relationships back

to their unassailable origins. 

Pick up the pieces 

and stitch moments back together into a life.

...if only to know that there was love between us again.

But you're gone now.

And with you a part of my hope for home;

a home I cant seem to recover.

My father was lost when their marriage failed.

My sister was lost when we moved away.

My first love was lost when I wouldn't compromise.

My best friend was lost when I left that city.

My mother was lost when I defined abuse.

Time has trickled down,

reimagining us as strangers,

placing an unfeeling decade between me

and everyone I have ever loved.

In some ways,

I have lived two lives.

And on nights like this...

I am reminded that the former has died.