Settling

vanities and weaknesses cattle prod my feet,
and adrenaline holds my legs at a gun point run.
So wanderer, coward, rebellious son, or fresh meat
are names I bare, hazardous wings I wanton wear.

keeping the road cautiously, fleeing where I please,
with fingers growing callous, rhythm filled contrite.
searching for chords, or words, or harmonies,
that show clearly my jealousies; my artist's plight.

I rest on the edge of everything my dear,
embracing the smoke, future unclear and breathe.
soak up the sound of fire, feel freely the fear,
grip tighter my principles and bereave the liar.

For these trees; would be pages, are burning,
as lonely sages, childlike learning breaks rules.
forest of definitions made fools by birdsong yearning,
by grace in wonder; fair feather's many schools.

But,
I do feel desire in stability, safety in being bored,
living within city walls, keyboards, and downy beds.
my gypsy ways suffocated with pillows, ignored,
and the bounty of doctor recommended meds.

Privileged by waste, easy, taught with fascination,
I've learned solitude, observation, happiness bought.
By attitude management; forced preoccupation,
these nicotine nuances work to get me caught.

What will become of me should I fear too great the night?