Dark and sexy, Brooding and Romantic

My vision is not untrained,

and my eyes are not naïve.

The radiance of her beauty,

was more than I had dreamed. 

With patient, whispered inks,

I asked you Father for love.

For the sadness of her smile,

her tested mind, her strength under trial,

to fill the depth of her dark brown eyes,

with an orphaned hearts

unbroken battle cries.

I asked for her soul to match my own,

for her to have known pain, 

and sorrow, and death.

I asked, Father, for her to love you.

For her faith to remind me, to correct me,

to push me closer to you.

For her beauty to be my comfort,

amidst an ugly worlds abuse.

For her laughter and her smile,

to remind me that I still have some use.

Even half of those would've been enough.

But she is far more than I planned.

Her playful mind, and frozen hands,

remind me of the thrill I lost long ago.

 

She is so effortlessly the fulfillment

of all my secret thoughts.

A kaleidoscope of traits and traumas;

Soulful, independent, and exquisitely rare. 

----

I see your wide eyed, unflinching gaze.

I know what it means

You're looking at me like,

I'm your favorite dessert and all your wildest 

dreams.

I could smile and flip my hair,

But I won't.

I know what you think you see.

And I know what you don't.

I know what you're dreaming, wishing,

Even praying for me to be.

Yours.

My monster inside rears her head.

She would devour you whole.

If I let her.

You're looking at me with pleas in your eyes.

Like God himself might give you me.

You don't know what you are asking.

You think I could be your answer,

Your blessing.

No heart could lay claim here.

No knights could storm the castle.

 Because I know, 

You want more than dessert.

You want the very depths of me

And there is nothing here but death.

My depths harness nothing but fire

And fury and rage.

I won't bat my eyes or pucker my lips.

I am not your woman,

I am the inferno meant to destroy.

-----

And so it happened that I met your gaze,

and locked my storm drenched eyes

on yours.

And your fire crept forth in a manic craze,

with primal, incandescent, frightened

force.

And you spoke volumes with expressions

painful to say.

Of shame and anger, frustrated rage,

And the precipitous expectation that

Id lack the strength to stay.

And in the low light, your world collided

with mine.

The forlorn storm and the sunfire surge,

exploding their stubborn wills,

silver lined and cathartic purge.

Linger with me in this lavender light,

here at the end of all that will be.

This beautifully chaotic soul soaked fight,

paints me azure and you the 

crimson fatality.

If there must be death

from all that you keep inside,

then let it be the monster ...

and not the radiant love you cant hide.

My vision is not untrained,

and my eyes are not naïve.

I see all of you...

scalding hot, battle tested, and still afraid.

--------------------

You think you know fear.

You boast in understanding of fire

Of flames and rage and destruction.

Come closer boy,

Ill let you taste the kerosene.

Your blistered lips and scorched throat 

will curse me.

Then you will know,

The very poison that has filled my cavities and senses.

Not so easily tamed or understood.

You want to wrangle me, tame me,

Or rather,

Join me, ride with me, burn with me.

I dream of violet mornings.

You speak of catharsis.

Only, you misunderstand,

I do not want your whispered blessings

I want my wildfire to color the sky before even the sun.

My words wont change the way you lick your lips,

Or the way your eyes rove and get caught in each dip.

So I will not look away.

Even as I bite my own lips, just enough to taste iron,

You can watch me bleed.

"Fear"

I see it in you, in your bones.

You have known fear, you've known it in your core.

Men.

I am a woman, and fear is a luxury I do not have.

What you see is correct.

Some things I cannot hide.

But fear is not one of them.

-----------------------------------------------------

From the doorway, I struggled for control,
eyes locked, as my jaw, on yours.
But you deny my council, flaunt rebellion,
and revel in the quickening of my pulse.

What am I to do with you, little girl?

How many times will you persuade buttons,
flex your fingers and undo me?
For answers; uninterested, unwanted,
lie stripped and empty upon the floor.

So we stare at one another, 

alone.
You the fairer, but I the farther,

frustrating all your passionate fire,
with the cold distrust of distance.

From the doorway, 

neither of us wins.